Heart Still Beats

SIGHS...

I have sent her a message... damn... Well I don't know why I feel nervous... I am not expecting anything... I just wanted to get some things off my chest... Here is the message I sent her:

Please delete this message afterwards and please don’t reply...

Good am... I’m really sorry for bothering you... First of all this message may sound stalker-ish but I promise you its not... This may look creepy or disturbing but I have no intention of being a creep or something else for that matter... I happened to see your profile on facebook on the “people who you might know” section... You of course do not know me, only by name I guess... We were batchmates for two years and I uhhmm... I need to get some things off my chest... It has been bothering me for some time now... I just wanted to say that I used to have a big crush on you... (whew)....  Now that I have said it, it feels good to get some things off my chest...  Its really only a simple thing but at least I have got through an obstacle of sorts...Anyways, I never had the chance to say it to you before... and it has bothered me for some time...  pathetic right? You most likely won’t remember my name anymore... I am not trying to be some sort of stalker here alright? Coincidence happens and when I saw your picture I thought “hey she looks familiar”... and then... I remembered and I decided to say it to you personally... This is not some sort of love letter just to be clear... Please do not reply even if you just want to say how stupid I am for doing this or something along those lines, I just really wanted to have no regrets or anything... I made a fuss over such a small thing but hey thats my nature and I needed to just clear my thoughts away... Now that I have said it to you... I can finally say that I have finished one of my “unfinished businesses in life”... Of course this has no effect on you whatsoever because you can easily disregard and forget that a total stranger sent you a message... but If you have read this then I am thankful to you for giving some attention/time... you have just helped someone...

Again I am not spying on you or anything, it was pure coincidence... This also is not a letter of confession... I am not asking for your pity or anything... But you have helped someone “complete a quest” like in an RPG and I thank you for that...

PLEASE DELETE THIS MESSAGE AND PLEASE DO NOT REPLY... JUST THINK OF IT AS A SPAM THAT REACHED YOUR INBOX... I WILL NOT BOTHER YOU ANYMORE I PROMISE YOU THAT... SORRY FOR DISTURBING YOU AND YOU WILL HEAR NO MORE FROM ME...

And oh I’m not a liar, when I said that “don’t reply” I mean it... It is not reverse psychology to start an online conversation with you or anything... I really mean it... I am not trying to be an emo guy or anything... I really mean it when I said “don’t reply”... As I have said earlier this message is for the purpose of getting some things off my chest only... I honor my words and you will not be bothered again...GOOD DAY...

Well thats my 4 years worth of repressed emotions right there... I actually feel kinda happy knowing that I did something for myself... I am cleaning out my "closet" and I believed that this one should be dealt with... Only a few more skeletons and my closet will be "okay" again...

I don't care how I come off... all I wanted was to say it... I know she won't bother with it but I can say to myself that I have at least tried...

Looks pathetic though... nevertheless I'm one step closer to solving my problems... even just the minor ones like this...

=)