About Me And My Blog

Welcome to my blog...

First of all let me introduce myself... You can call me "The Unknown"... I am literally an unknown person... nobody knows anything about me except for a few unimportant details... If I were a book all of my pages would be blank, blank but full of negative experiences... Nobody really cares enough to look at these blank pages closely... 

I am a student of the top if not one of the top universities in the Philippines... Not that it matters anyway because the best our country has to offer is just your third or fourth class university in another country...

I am on my sophomore year... hoping to be a lawyer in the future... I like to play basketball and I also train in martial arts... I'm a big anime and JRPG fan... You could say that I'm a cross between a bully and a nerd... I like "nerdy" stuff like insects, chess, animes, games, history, science, etc... but I can beat your stupid ass up if you dare to pick a fight with me...

I'm the guy who always sits on the last row and if possible the chair nearest the door for faster exits after the bell rings... I don't have any close friends... probably one or two I guess... Most of the people I am with are more of companions or acquaintances... I don't let anybody see who is the person behind the mask that I always wear...

I have never been in a relationship and probably will never be... Also never even had a "female" friend... Hell I'm not exaggerating but I've never even had a good conversation with a girl before... I always "freeze" up... It is called "torpe" in my country... I have serious issues that I need to fix if I want to live a normal life... In my current state there is no girl in this world who would give any attention to me...

Enough of being a romantic emo guy... The reason I made this blog is to "chronicalize" the events that will eventually lead to my suicide... I'm still struggling to stay positive and live on but when I reach my breaking point and I can't take the guilt anymore, this blog would serve as my "final words"...

The problems that I face are nothing serious really... like loneliness, depression, no self confidence, being single, no social life, etc... These are manageable and I can live with these... But there are some things that I can't go on life with these said things being on my mind... The root of all my problems, my decade old skeleton-in-the-closet... I will eventually have to face them and I did... I started this blog when on a forum my experiences are brought up...

The thing is something bad happened to me as a child and I almost turned out to be that kind of person... I can't function normally in society with my guilt and conscience always bothering me... I may not look like it but inside I am really struggling... I might smile or laugh and I may act  like a happy person but all of those are just "masks" - personas that I show the world...

This blog shows the real me... What I write here is what I think, what I feel... This is my world... All of the experiences that I post on my blog is but a part of my "Road to XuiXide"... I do not wish to end my pathetic life because of my Christian beliefs, hopefully I will be a "normal" person so I will not have to force myself to commit suicide...