Wow Just Wow

GOD DAMN IT!!!

My only remaining source of "hope" is now gone... Wow just wow!

I would have to live my life feeling like this... I learned that if I confess of my pedophilia and the things I've done I will be reported by my theraphist to the police... Just how can it get any worse than this?

I have always thought that a theraphist would be able to help me but no... Damn it...

How can You do this to me?! Are You happy now?

When I thought things couldn't get any worse... now knowing that I can not go ask for professional help...

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

If I would be put to jail for child molestation, it will only add another lifelong scar to my list...

There is no way out of this mess... GOD HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH!!??

Well more reason for me to commit suicide then... I have no place anymore to ask for help... and HELL NO GOD IS NOT THE FUCKING ANSWER!!!

God never really helps me on hard times... enough of the stupid verses... enough of the "Footprints in the Sand"... I really wanted to get some professional help and now this happens!

What am I supposed to do? I'm shattered right now... my only ray of hope now gone...

Is this part of God's plan for me to turn to him?  I HAVE BEEN TURNING TO HIM ALL THIS TIME BUT LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME?

Sighs... I'm lost right now... really really lost...

I can't live like this forever... and now that help is not an option... there is only one option left... suicide...

I feel like this blog is coming to an end... It has been a wild ride but I feel like I'm nearing my destination...

What should I do now? Clearly I'm left with no choice...